Nuyah. Nun ya business

I am heavily affected by the mood of other people. I would say I am an ‘up ‘ kinda gal. But when those close to me are down, I feel that weight as if it’s a thick rope around my own neck.

I think I knew coming into this that there would be hard days, and times where I am sad, and moments where I could punch baby hamsters and feel no remorse. I just didn’t think that time would come so soon. Relationships in my life are incredibly important to me and affect me deeply in so many ways. When one feels off, I feel off. I had a tough night last night emotionally and I can’t seem to shake it.

Satan wants that… doesn’t he? To take the things in our lives, the insecurities… the addictions… the lies…. and sickly twist them for his purpose. I know he hates me, and I know he wants to destroy anything good I am learning… and rip down my walls of progress while I am here. You, whoever you are reading this, maybe just my mother and cute grandma… can pray for me if you want. I think I really need it right now. I want to be transparent with everyone I encounter in life, even if the encounter is electronic. I am definitely struggling right now. I don’t want Satan to have any sort of foothold.

The last three days were a rollercoaster (literally and figuratively). HA. Going deep into the jungle with Brandi , Jay-Z, and Casey &Jo Jo barely scratching their way through the radio yet still able to be audible was an interesting juxtaposition. I was singing along with JB our driver, ‘ I promise to never fall in love with a stranger. You're all I'm thinking of, I praise The Lord Above, for Sending Me Your Love. I Cherish Every Hug I Really Love You” (lyrics to famous rap-ish song called All My Life by Casey and Jo Jo) as I zoomed by remote villages made of straw huts, where kids were sitting playing in dirt, and mommies were beating the snot out of chickens for dinner. Seemed almost weirdly appropriate. Well to me at least.

Its hard not to fall in love. With peekings.

Ya, don’t worry. That is not a sexual innuendo, or an odd fetish, or the name of bird feed. Its what the people here call children. In the villages we did the analysis on, I was really no help. Lets be honest… I played with all the freaking peekings and drew on them. That’s what I am good at. This one little girl (my fav) had crazy little orange braids sticking out from every button hole on her head, was sporting a lovely white dress up gown and was obviously on a mission. She marched straight up to me from across the road, never breaking eye contact, and buried her little cute face right into my legs. I almost cried. Really.

This is so long. Ugg, I promised I would never be one of thoooooose